By: Farhat
There is a misconception that Islam does not grant proper rights to women. However, a sincere study of Islam through the Quran and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) reveals that it is a religion that upholds justice and grants comprehensive rights to women, particularly wives.
“And among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Quran 30:21)
Financial Support
A husband is obligated to provide for his wife’s needs, including food, clothing, and shelter, based on his financial capacity.
“Let the wealthy man spend according to his means. And the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah does not burden a person beyond what He has given him.” (Quran 65:7)
“The best Dinar a man spends is the one he spends on his family.” (Sahih Muslim 994)
“You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allah’s sake, even if it is a morsel you place in your wife’s mouth.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
Kindness and Gentle Treatment
A husband must treat his wife with kindness and avoid any form of harm.
“Live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them—perhaps you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.” (Quran 4:19)
“The most perfect of believers in faith are those with the best character. And the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi 1162)
Love and Affection
A husband is encouraged to express love and affection for his wife through words, actions, and thoughtful gestures.
“The Prophet (ﷺ) would drink from the same vessel as me, placing his lips where mine had been, and he would eat meat from the bone I had bitten.” (Sahih Muslim 300)
“Anything not involving the remembrance of Allah is frivolity, except for a man’s joking with his wife…” (Sunan an-Nasa’i 8937)
Avoiding Verbal and Emotional Abuse
A husband must avoid cursing, insulting, or demeaning his wife in any way.
“The believer does not insult, curse, speak obscenely, or behave in a vulgar manner.” (Tirmidhi 1977)
Safeguarding Privacy
A husband must respect the sanctity of his wife’s private matters and never disclose her secrets.
“Among the most evil people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Judgment is a man who is intimate with his wife, and then he divulges her secrets.” (Sahih Muslim 1437)
Focus on Positive Traits
A husband should not harbor resentment against his wife but instead focus on her good qualities and overlook her shortcomings.
“A believer should not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her traits, he will be pleased with another.” (Sahih Muslim 1469)
Fair and Just Treatment
If a husband has more than one wife, Islam strictly commands fairness and justice between them.
“If you fear that you will not deal justly with them, then (marry only) one…” (Quran 4:3)
“Whoever has two wives and inclines towards one of them, he will come on the Day of Judgment with half of his body leaning.” (Sunan an-Nasa’i 3942)
Making Life Easy
A husband should not burden his wife with unrealistic expectations or excessive chores.
“The best of you are those who are easiest (in dealing) with their families.” (Ibn Hibban 4177)
Encouraging Spiritual Growth
A husband should help his wife grow spiritually by teaching her about Islam and encouraging good deeds.
“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones…” (Quran 66:6)
“When a man teaches his wife even one matter of goodness, he will be rewarded.” (Musnad Ahmad 14493)
Maintaining Protective Jealousy
A husband should safeguard his wife’s dignity and protect her from harmful influences or situations.
“Indeed, Allah has a sense of protective jealousy, and the believer also has protective jealousy.” (Sahih Muslim 2761)
Avoiding Unjust Boycotting
A husband should not abandon or boycott his wife unnecessarily. If it becomes necessary, it should be done respectfully and privately.
“As to those women on whose part you fear ill-conduct, admonish them, refuse to share their beds, and (as a last resort) strike them lightly. But if they obey you, seek no means against them.” (Quran 4:34)
Exemplifying the Best Conduct
A husband should embody excellent character and manners, especially in his dealings with his wife.
“The best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family.” (Tirmidhi 3895)
Forgiveness and Patience
Marriage requires patience and forgiveness. A husband should forgive his wife’s mistakes and strive to maintain peace in the relationship.
“And let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (Quran 24:22)
Jazzakallah. Awesome sharing brother.
A Man and woman needs equal education and good upbringing, worldly and spiritually, most importantly when they are closer to the age of marriage, they need a clear guidance, we need to learn how to be Muslims and to follow Islam to understand each others responsibilities. we need to stop making Islam into a men’s religion. Islam is a religion of men and women, all beings and creations. All we need is tolerance, patience, love and respect, understanding, education… and an open mind.
All mentioned here are opposite ways of my husband. I hope he will change In sha Allah. I don’t wish him to be romantic and sweet. At least he can be kind especially in words.